A History of Violence, part 2...

TRIGGER WARNING

April, Sexual assault awareness month.

Since my first blog called A History of Violence, I have had more messages, emails and letters from survivors of sexual assault and domestic abuse than I ever thought was possible. The sheer number of cowboy girls, ranch women and rodeo wives-as well as single horse lovers who wrote and told me their stories after I shared mine-was staggering. I even got letters from a few men who had never said anything to anyone about what had happened to them as children.

It hurts my heart, and quite honestly I spent a few days after that blog just crying and responding to all of the letters. The fact that all of these survivors had the bravery to write and talk about what had happened to them to a fellow survivor-many of them for the first time-was more than humbling.

I’m sure a lot of you don’t know that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, mostly because it isn’t publicized and spoken about in “polite company” like other causes. The main point (at least to me) of my first blog posting “A History of Violence” was to say up-front and once and for all that it’s ok to talk about what happened to you, and to not be ashamed. That it’s not your fault.

 In the ranching and cowboy world there is a certain stigma that goes along with the things that have happened and affected real people’s lives, that pretty much make it impossible to feel like once known-the things that were done to you against your will make you a pariah. The fear of being thought of in a way that you never would have chosen, or things being said about you that you cannot control because it was wrong-is something that I think every survivor has to deal with. But because of the culture we live in, because of how small we are as a community-the fear of your history being common knowledge is actually paralyzing.

But the letters and messages that I received after that first blog, told me something that I never really expected. That there are hurting, and broken people in the ranching and cowboy community just as there are everywhere else-and by not allowing them the dignity of telling their stories and releasing that history-we are turning our backs on-admittedly a horrible-part of our culture.

I want this little post to be a reminder, to all of you survivors-that it is NEVER wrong to speak the truth about what has happened to you.

There is no shame, the shame is that of the person who did wrong against you.

Be proud of who and what you are, that you have come this far.

Be proud that the hurt of the world has not beaten you down.

Be proud that you continue to wake up every morning with a new day and a future ahead of you, that cannot be tainted by another’s wrongdoing.

You have survived, and that is enough.

Be proud of yourself, be brave, and don’t ever give up.

Love to you all,

~Adrian